The Solitude of Home
by Theregicide
Summary: Hans is returned home from Arendelle and faces the Judgement of his Family, and more than anything, himself.
1. Coming Home

Chapter 1,

Hans.

It was truly a beautiful day. As if the sky was mocking him, mocking him for his failure, his betrayal, his crime. One last time he was walking the streets of the Capital a free man, making his way up to the castle. Walking past the traders and peasants, everyone looked at him, walking there in his torn uniform, the prince of the southern isles was finally home.

The time he spent in the holding cell of the ship felt like an eternity, and the memories of the past days were haunting him day and night. In his dreams he heard the desperate cries of a loving sister "Elsa! Elsa!". He would never forget the voice for the rest of his life. It sounded so full of fear, the fear of losing a loved one, something he never experienced himself, there were no loved ones in his life, his mother died shortly after his birth, and his father had no interest in him, most of his 12 brothers barely acknowledged his existance, and the ones who did, showed him pity at best.

No, there were no loved ones in his life, that is why he did not understand what happened in Arendelle even after all these days. Everything was going in his favor, he had Victory in his hands, and from one second to the other, it melted away like everything else.

But it was too late now, what's done is done, even though it felt bad, his entire life had ended before it really began, the news of his actions would reach the castle before he did, he would be chained and thrown into the dungeon, he did not delude himself with false hopes, he knew full well what fate awaited him, he was a regicide, and the sentence for regicide, is death. That very moment the Guard opened the Gates and greeted him with a swift "Welcome home, Prince Hans". All the years of drill and experience were not enough to hide the worry in the guardsmans voice. As he stepped through the open gates into the dim light of the castle he could not help but remember the first time he entered the Castle of Arendelle. Everything was happy and going as intended back then. Now, he felt like a sheep walking into a butchery.

The hallway to the throne room seemed endlessly long, and never looked more depressing.  
>He finally reached the other side, the doors slid open, this time there was no greeting, no announcement, everything fell silent when he entered, he had the undivided attention of the entire court, something he never managed to get before, though, he would have laughed in any other situation.<p>

Everyone was there, everyone except his Father, the Throne was empty, next to it stood his eldest brother, Rudolph, holding a letter which by the looks of it must have been from Arendelle. Two other brothers stood further down the stairs, Stephan and Markus, Stephan being the 8th in line and Markus just one year older than Hans himself as 12th in line. He could not make out any other brothers, but it was rare for them to be all in one place together. Stephan looked at him with his usual look of indifference, while Markus, who has always been the least hostile towards him, looked at him with anger and disapointment.

Now the oldest, Rudolph looked up from the letter to the miserable piece of meat in the middle of the throne room, standing there in his dirty white Uniform and the expression of a dead man on his face.

Rudolph gave the letter to a servant next to him and stepped three stairs down, towards Hans, still keeping the distance of around 10 metres, before he spoke more to Hans in a few minutes than usually in an entire year, "Prince Hans, you have brought shame on yourself, our House, and our Kingdom, you are accused of treason, attempted murder, and attempted regicide. You have risked our name, our reptutation, as well as the peace and friendship between two kingdoms in a gamble for glory. You went to Arendell without the Kings consent, and acted in your own interest against the good of our people." He took a brief break before continuing," Until the accusations and circumstances of your crime are confirmed, and your guilt is proven, you stand under curfew, get this Scoundrel out of my sight!" Rudolph gave the guardsmen a short notice and turned to step up the stairs again. Hans was still standing there when the guards reached him, the words of his brother had burned into his memory like red-hot iron into skin, a scoundrel, that was exactly what he was, a scoundrel and a fool.

While the guards escorted him to his chambers, he didn't say a word, servants and handmaidens looked at him with expressions reaching from disgust to pity, but he didn't care about that, he couldn't care less what the servants of the castle thought of him right now, all he could think about was the echo in his head, of a princess calling her sisters name with a fear Hans did not understand at the time, not even know. "Elsa! Elsa!" it echoed again and again in his head, the more he tried to surpress it the louder it grew, and with every passing hour he learned the true nature of the fear behind that cry, the fear of being all alone, and with every step he took towards his chamber it became clearer to him, that he was all alone, and he was afraid.


	2. A frozen Heart

Chapter 2,

Hans.

Earlier, the priest was talking about salvation, peace in the afterlife. But with his life coming to an end, he himself had a hard time believing in his own salvation.  
>After the priest left, the person he least expected walked in.<br>And after some smalltalk about the unusually nice weather Markus changed the topic to more pressing matters concerning Hans' recent actions.

"The circumstances are .. ominous.. to say the least" Markus took another sip from his glass of wine, "There is talk of sorcery and other fairy tales going round, a magical Queen of ice they say, yet none of that changes what happened in Arendelle."with one arm behind the back and the other holding the glass of wine Markus walked slowly through the room. Hans was still sitting on his old chair in the corner, completely motionless. Staring at a blank point across the room.

"How did you manage to get there anyway? Didn't father send an Emissary to for the Queen's coronation? What happened to them?" the older brother asked with a tone more suited for an interrogation than a chat between brothers. "Does Stephan still send you to do his dirty work? Tell him if he wants to know the details he can come and ask me himself." At his brothers sharp comment Markus turned on his heel to face Hans "Very funny, Hans, but Stephan didn't send me, I came on my own account. I am simply interested in how you did it." Hans lips formed into a grin "Why would you care? Why would anyone care? I am guilty, that is all that matters." "I'm a curious man." Hans had to let out a weak laugh. All this time no one cared, then he messes up, and suddenly he is the top concern of everyone at court. And now his brother tried to lure the deatils out of him, it was all a big farce.

After a brief moment of silence the younger one started talking again,"Look Markus, all this touchy feely talk between brothers is nice and I really appreciate it, but I don't need your pity or anyone elses for that matter." Markus, who clearly felt this as a slight, places the wine glass on window sill, and answered "Enough Hans, this is no time for joking, your situation is bad, really bad, and believe it or not, I am trying to help you here, as part of the council I was able to delay the outcome of your trial until now but I won't be able to keep it delayed forever, in Rudolphs eyes you are already a dead man and the others care only about the political outcome of this whole thing. You should start looking for allies Hans." Hans jumped up from his chair and stared at Markus with an expression that can only be described as close to madness. "Don't take me for a fool Markus, I do know how my situation looks. But don't make the mistake and think you can play with me, you want something from me? Then get on with it and ask! But don't bore me with your bullshit about allies."  
>Markus looked at Hans with a mixture of surprise and anger. He walked towards the door and the moment he touched the doorknob, he stopped and turned to Hans again "Karl returns from the States soon, with his vote your Sentence will be absolute, you may want to find your peace until then, brother." As he turned to the door Hans spoke up once more, "Why are you doing this Markus.." The older one answered with a voice that was sounding surprisingly sincere" You may not believe it brother, but maybe there is one person in this family that still cares, think about my words, I'll come back tomorrow." Markus walked out the door and gave a nod to the guard outside, then the door closed. And Hans was in his chamber alone once again. Hans fell back on his chair and firmly closed his eyes.<p>

And once again the voices in his head rose up to be the chorus singing of his undoing, one line cutting deeper than any of the others, "The only frozen heart around here, is yours." Something he discarded as simple banter at that time, but the truth of it was becoming clearer than ever. All the while the wind would carry his brother and his death closer to him by the second.  
>The memories of Arendelle were reeling inside his head, and now it was growing into a tempest of things he tried to forget, but no matter how much he tried, over and over again he heard the sisters cry ."Elsa!" "Elsa!" a tear began to form in the corner of his eye. And then he knew, there would be no salvation for his frozen heart.<p> 


	3. Opening Doors

Chapter 3,

Hans.

This was the first time he was actually laughing and talking with one of his brother in his entire life. They talked about politics, horses, and they had a genuine joyful talk as they reminisced and joked.  
>And for a moment Hans was almost able to forget why he was in this chamber, as they drank the wine Hans had kept for special occasions, which weren't going to happen after all. Like his wedding, or his 30th birthday. But Hans has accepted these things in the past days, he almost lost his mind along the road, but now, now he was at peace, no voices in his head, no memories haunting him, he made his choice.<p>

"You should have seen how furious Rudolph was this morning when I told him that I had not yet decided on your Sentence, he rose up from his chair and and howled:"You stupid little boy! If you keep defying me I will have you removed from your office!"" Hans had to laugh a little "What did father say about it?" "Nothing, same as always, he just watched his oldest son and heir get angrier by the minute" Markus replied. "When Rudolph becomes King, a lot will change around here." Hans said. "True, but that won't concern you anymore, so lets change the subject to something more joyful, like, what was that girls name you used to fancy? Lena?" his older brother asked. Lena, no that wasn't her name... "Laura, her name was Laura." "Ah yes Laura, what happened to her? She was such a nice girl, the two of you made an impeccable couple." Yes, Laura, Hans used to fancy her, at one point he even thought of marrying her, but, "She got engaged to some baron from the south ,on her families bidding." "Ah yes, now that you mention it, I remember, what a shame." Markus answered. Laura, Hans really liked her, her honest nature, her auburn hair and fair face. He wanted to marry her, but her parents wouldn't allow her to marry the 13th in line to the throne. He lost all delusions of love that day. And looking back, maybe the day she left the capital was the day he decided to search for his luck a little more aggresively. Anna had reminded him of Laura in more ways than one, her kind nature, even her face somewhat looked like Laura. But Anna had something Laura lacked, her naivity, something he both hated and liked about her.

Markus must have noticed Hans loosing himself in thoughts asked with a soft voice,"Why did you do it Hans? Why did you try to kill them?" Hans knew this question was going to come up, it was merely a matter of time, and he breathed in before saying,"Why did I try it? When i came to Arendelle, I had no opinion of either of the princesses, and all I knew was that nobody has seen them in years. I thought it would be easy to sway the queen, and marry my way into the crown, but then I ran into the younger one, the princess, Anna." Hans took a short break before he continued,"She had something about her that caught my attention, oh how naive and innocent she was, such easy prey, but she also had something I did not understand, her unconditional love for her sister. I hated her for it, and envied her at the same time, the ability to love someone unconditionally, something I did not think existed. So I decided to use it against them, it served me well in the beginning, yet, it served them just as well in the end to undo my work." Markus seemed somewhat startled at his brothers sudden confession, but Hans could not care less. He had stopped caring what people thought of him the moment he left the ship.

"Your sentence will be signed tomorrow, and your execution will follow the day after, you know what they do to regicides do you?" Hans nodded, he knew full well what the sentence for regicide was, getting pulled apart by four horses, and the parts get burned at the stake. A gruesome punishment for a gruesome crime.  
>"Look Hans, I don't know how you feel, but what I know is, that you have not given up on yourself just yet. I think you deserve a second chance, everyone deserves a second chance. Listen Hans, I have friends in the South, Bohemia and Hungary, even in the States, I could help you, you could start anew, far from all of this."<br>Hans let out a shallow laugh, and said, "No Markus, I won't run from my crimes, I have found my peace, I am not afraid of death, not anymore." Hans walked over to his table and picked up a piece of paper with a List of things written on it and walked towards Markus, who looked at him with a questioning look. "I have made a List of things i would like you to obtain for me, if you can get them until tomorrow I would be much obliged." Markus took the sheet of paper and read through the items, folde it and let it disappear in his Uniform. Then he looked at Hans with a sincere look and said,"I understand, I will see you tomorrow then, Brother."

Hans sat down in his chair and watched the spot on the wall again, he did so when he first returned from Arendelle. Back then he was an emotional wreck, a shadow of his former self, he had been misguided, broken, haunted by the events of the past weeks. But now, he knew that running from his past was not an option, he knew that salvation could not come to him if he kept running away, that he would never reach the door if he kept running from his crimes, his memories, from everything he brought here from Arendelle. Markus helped him understand what he needed, even if his brother didn't know it himself, but through Markus, Hans was finally able to understand the true nature of his pain, and that Love, no matter how subtle, or little of it, could always was be an open door.


	4. Letting it Go

Chapter 4,

Hans.

"I, King Gerald of the Southern Isles, first of my name, hereby declear Prince Hans of the Southern Isles guilty of Regicide and sentence him to death." Markus let the parchment slide to the floor, "It's done, it will happen tomorrow."  
>"I know, anything you want to say before you go, brother?" Markus was obviously unsettled by the thought, and tried to persuade his brother once more, "It is not too late Hans, come with me, I will depart today, you can start anew, leave the past behind you!" Hans was smiling, just last week, his brother was no more to him than a stranger, yet now, they were brothers, and he finally knew what it meant to be dear to someone. "It is too late, Markus, for what I did, I deserve this, and it is my choice to die here."<br>Hans sat down in his chair while Markus was looking at the parchment on the floor.  
>"Listen, they always blamed you for Mothers death, even if they knew it wasn't your fault, they didn't care, they hated you for it anyway, because it was the easy thing to do." "I know." "But I want you to know, I never blamed you for it, Hans." "I know, Markus, I know." Hans was close to tears, and so seemed his brother. <p>

Markus turned to the door, and stopped just in front of it. "I know.." Hans couldn't see Markus' face, but his tone had changed completely. When he turned around Hans was able to see the grin on his face,"Its not going to get anymore pathetic than that Hans, look at you, sitting there, talking about the entire world being mean to you, but I think this just right now was a new Low, even for you Hans.." His world was flipped upside down in a matter of seconds, what just happened. "What.. What are you talking about? What is going on?" "What am I talking about? Listen to yourself, whom are you even talking to? Open your eyes." He did not comprehend the situation, what was happening. What was his brother talking about? "Markus.. i don't understand.." "You keep calling me that, but I can assure you, I am not Markus, don't you remember? Markus is dead, for over a week by now. The woman on the docks told you, don't you remember?" Hans was breathing heavily, the situation was melting in his hands like ice under an early springs sun. What was his brother talking about? What game was he playing? Nothing made sense anymore "I am not playing anything, Hans. It's you who is playing, lying to yourself, about justice, about everything, you might be able to fool others, but you can not fool yourself." Hans still tried to grasp the core of it, everytime he tried to make a conclusion, it broke down like a house of cards. "A house of cards, that is what you built yourself, tried to trick yourself into believing you were doing this out of your own will, that there was a different way, that you chose to atone for your sins. But there really isn't, Hans, this can only end one way, and you know it." Hans wasn't sure he knew anything at all anymore, his mind was going crazy, patches of memories surfacing and sinking into the depths of his mind. He was only able to bring out a few words, "Who are you?" "I am you, or, lets say, a part of you, the part you tried to get rid of, all your guilt, all the voices in your head, did you really thing they stopped? NO! I can still hear them, and so can you if you only listened." Hans was not feeling well, his stomach ached and his head was spinning. "No, I don't believe you, you are lying, what are you?" "I am you, we are one, don't you get it Hans? You were finished when you arrived on this Island, you were trying to fool yourself into believing that there was someone who cared about you, Markus was the perfect opportunity and you almost succeeded, but i can't let you do this, we won't go out just like that." Hans was on his knees, grasping for air, he felt like throwing up. "Take a look inside your pocket, Hans, tell me what you have gotten inside." Hans fumbled inside his pockets and felt a sheet of paper, he pulled it out and could barely believe his eyes. "I... I gave that to you, yesterday.." "Hans, get real, we never left this room. You couldn't handle the reality, you never accepted how life could be this cruel, so you created your own little world where everything was alright, where you had made peace with your crimes, and accepted your punishment, but i know the truth of it, which means you do so as well." "Nothing of this makes any sense, none of it, I don't know whats happening.." "Just admit it Hans, you know how it is, you created an Illusion, you tried to find peace, but you failed, you know why?" "Why.."  
>"Because the one person in this world who can not forgive your crime, the one person who never got over your failure, was yourself, the one person that torments you is no one but yourself. You can never escape, and there can be no peace, not in this life."<p>

"What am I supposed to do.." hans was kneeling on the floor of his room, his face was in tears, "You know what you have to do, just do it." "I can't." "Yes you can, I know it." "I can't !" Hans jumped up and put both his hands on the neck of his tormentor and tried to squeeze the life out of him. But as soon as he laid his hands around it the phantom dissapeared into thin air and Hans fell down on his hands and knees.  
>"Its no good Hans, you can't escape this, all your talk about leaving and deserving a second chance, you wanted to feel noble, to feel like you had a choice, you thought that if you had any say in this you would't feel so cheated by fate." "This is not fair, I did not deserve any of this!" Hans was pouring his heart out, the whole thing was getting too much for him to handle.<br>"No one deserves such a fate Hans, but that is not ours to decide. All we can do is react to the situations we are in. There is no point fighting it any longer, Hans. Just do it already."  
>"But how." "It still is where Stephan had put it the day you arrived.." "Yes, yes, right, i will get it." Hans crawled over the floor towards his drawer, knocking over half empty bottles of wine, he knew what he had to do, the only thing he ever could, the only thing he was supposed to do. They never planned on executing him in public, his father would never have it. When he reached the drawer, he pulled out the upper part of it. When he grabbed the object inside he felt how heavy it felt. Heavy and cold. He held it in his right hand, looking at the weapon, his wands wouldn't move no matter how much he tried, and his entire body was shaking. Then he felt hands touching his shoulders, "It's alright Hans, we will do it together, you see, even if you are alone, you still have to be yourself." "I know" Hans was sobbing. Then he felt how a hand griped firmly around his own, and lifted the gun to his temple. Slowly he ceased trembling and weeping. "Just do it Hans, just pull the trigger, it will be over." Hans had closed his eyes as he felt the cold steel on his head, his heartbeat was so heavy he could hear it loud and clear. "Do it." Hans was still hesitating, he couldn't end his life just like that. Then he heard the voice whispering into his ear again, "Don't worry, I'm right here with you" he felt his finger slowly bending on the trigger. "Just let it go." He kept bending his finger. "Let it go."<p>

On the 23rd of August in the year of 1849, Prince Markus funeral was held after he died in a hunting accident 10 days earlier.  
>On the same day Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, who was decleared guilty of regicide, commited suicide.<br>On the 20th of December in the year of 1849, King Gerald of the Southern Isles recieved a letter from the Queen of Arendelle, asking for the exculpation of Prince Hans of the Southern Isles.  
>On the 24th of December in the year of 1849, her wish was granted and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles was decleared innocent post mortem.<br>On the 1st of May in the year of 1850, a ceremony was held in remembrance of Prince Hans, both the Queen of Arendelle and her crown princess were present.


End file.
